Wednesday, January 14, 2009

with or without dreams

I dream in color. I remember most of a dream, especially the taste and emotion. I miss dreaming. Don't get me wrong, I still dream. However, most are less focused, and in the morning a fog of memory.

I miss a pill. I have a vivid dream. It is bad to miss one. Maybe. Sometimes I fall asleep with G. Or I am so tired I just fall into bed. Most nights tho I do take the pill. I sleep a deep, usually dreamless night. The residue is faint; I know it's cerebral and waiting to be pulled out.

The pill regulates serotonin. Helps me sleep instead of anxiously riding out the night, and sometimes, morning. I am thankful for this low dose of regulation, it could be higher, or more pills. In my family more pills is a possibility.

But I digress. Family another time. Dreams, with or without, now. Tonight I want to dream. See the world in a different reality. My reality in my head. Is that the real world? The waking world a dream? Certainly the Aborigines of Australia understand that world view. If that's so, am I just stuck in a dream world with no way to get back?

I'll tell you something though. I do wake-up with a song in my head most days. Some songs I dislike so much I find it unimaginable I am singing it. Today, no song. Day before, "and so castles made of sand fall in the sea eventually."

Tonight will be yet another episode of my brain and the serotonin balance. Hmmm, will I wake with or without dreams?

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