Wonder Love

I found this picture again. I love this picture. I can see his dimple and the total wonder of his face. Not just the sweet smile. There's the boy with the gift of animals. He can feel a space and a beings mood almost instantly.

This was taken last December in California at Maggie's. I cannot believe it's been almost a year. He is so young looking here. So big. However, in this photo I see the essence of my child. The whole being and the utter love I have for this wonder. I get to witness this person everyday.

A Poem For A Student Lost

Written by my friend and co-worker LaVonne Chue
A former student at the school I work at passed away(16). I did not know her, but know her younger siblings(1st grade). However, this has affected many wonderful people I work with at the school. It is incredibly sad, but through support, I am hoping for some calm and understanding. Please keep them in your thoughts. Peace.

I wish you knew
Tomorrow would be better.
That life is full of disappointment
and victories.
I wish you knew how your smile
was so contagious
and your bright eyes put people at ease.


I wish you had a chanceto experience more.
Love, independence, responsibility
and your own power.
I wish we knew
you were hurting inside.
You put on such a
Strong front.


I wish I knew
How I could have helped.
How can we see
what is in your thoughts behind the brown eyes and perfect smile.


How can we create a spark of light
When the world is dark and desperate.


I wish you knew
How losing you
Will make me try harder
Make me think smarter
about the world and how words
will change a mind
and how a little compliment
might warm a saddened heart.


I wish you new,
I wish we knew,
I wish you weren’t gone.

The mix tape

Sittin by the window listening to the radio. Fingers on REC, waiting for that song to play. Come on now, ya, a bit of DJ intro and then, bam! "Brothers sisters we don't need this fascist groooove thing!" "Don't watch that, watch this. The heavy heavy monster sound. One step beyoooond." ahhh, the timing, the need. Then, the mix tape!! Oh yeahhhhhh. I remember them well. Love, madness, intoxication.

My friend Bill made me a rad mix tape in high school. Some Frank Zappa, "she's only 13 and she knows how to nasty." The doors, "Break on through, break on through, break, break." Some Beatles, "listen to the color of your dreams, is it not living, is it not living." The Cocteau Twins with their ethereal non-language singing. What a trip.

Best friends tape, punk of course! "Welcome to Der Wiener Schnitzel can I take your order please!" "To drunk to fuck, I'm to drunk to drunk to fuuuckkk." Hahaha, gettin chili fries at Tommy's in her blue 64 and a half Mustang. Sweeet.

She had all the angst and I had all the love, yaaaaa.

I still have some of those tapes of nightly sessions by the radio and turntable. The simple joy of dancing to the mix tape that made your body flyyyyyyy.