The Heart Rate Increases

New school and student for me. Eek.

New school for G. Eek.

Moving into new apartment in new town a week after school starts. My stomach hurts. I wanna puke. I am trying to take it in stride, but my body is betraying me.

Parents moving to Arizona. Dad has another heart issue. Sigh.

Wants love. Tried again. Again. Blah. They want to fuck me. Not date me. I have no time.

I have my child 24/7. Shit.

Embrace the chaos!!!!!

Pale Shelter

Our assembly today-Columbine survivor speaking about a friend teaching Kindness

http://www.rachelschallenge.org/

Rachel Scott was the first person killed at Columbine High School on April 20, 1999. Her acts of kindness and compassion coupled with the contents of her six diaries have become the foundation for one of the most life-changing school programs in America. Powerful video/audio footage of Rachel's life and the Columbine tragedy holds students spell-bound during a one hour school presentation that motivates them to positive change in the way they treat others.

Nicole Nowlen PRESENTER:
Nicole is a former Columbine student who was in the school's library that day. After surviving being shot by the gunmen, she graduated from Columbine in 2001. Since her graduation, she shared her story with hundreds of thousands of people. Since 2006 she has been sharing Rachel's story across the country and even in Canada and Bermuda. Nicole has been featured in People and Teen People magazines as well as on The Today Show and The Montel Williams Show. Nicole hopes that Rachel's story impacts students to make a difference in the lives of others that are around them every single day.

I am not sure how I will react. I work with a student in 6th grade diagnosed with autism. I am unsure of their reaction as well. Just thinking about where I was that day and how this assembly, in a middle school, will be taken by students and adults alike..........................off .

Sometimes the love is too infinite for words.

The Hunted. The Prey. THe lost. Remember.......

Remember when you were the hunted

Remember how I swallowed you in

Remember the rewards shimmering on the floor

Off the plastic chandelier

Remember when I saw you in orbit

Remember when I pulled you back in

Remember looking on blinking into the dawn

Thinking how this will never end

Surrounded

Let's romanticize our beloved memories

Surrounded

Let's demonize our softest injuries

Surrounded

Can we get behind distortion and liberties

Surrounded

We're surrounded, spiraling

Remember when I played assassin

Remember when my joking turned grim

Remember how we thought if we followed the dots

It would stop all the accidents

Remember when you broke my halo

Remember how I tied your wings in

Remember how we slipped all the lies we equipped

Just to bring back the goods again

Surrounded

Let's romanticize our beloved memories

Surrounded

Let's demonize our softest injuries

Surrounded

Can we get behind distortion and liberties

Surrounded

We're surrounded, spiraling

Is it perfect in our little hell

Are you dancing or stumbling beside me

Well this might not be

We'll just wait and see

So now that we've stopped hearing echoes

And now that the replay wore thin

Just remember who held you, remember who held you

Remember who held you, remember who held you

Surrounded

Let's romanticize our beloved memories

Surrounded

Let's demonize our softest injuries

Surrounded

Can we get behind distortion and liberties

Surrounded We're surrounded, spiraling

Is it perfect in our little hell

muddy boots-blood splatter

Muddy boots
soiled heart
blood splatter
infallable tear
Dying leaves
shrunken soul
black teeth
seconds stop
still wind

Fantasy?

You make me wannnna uhh uhh uhh uhhhhhh
dance, sing, fuck, explore, smoke, drink, gimme water
open road, full tank, green, orange, red, sign up ahead
smile baby we on the road to nowhere fast
Aint it grand?