Chaos and Love

These things I know

2011-11-02T12:20:00.000-07:00

This is what I know........
I am sitting in a theatre full of
loud school children.
The one next to me
wears blue headphones.
I am wearing my green dress
with flowers.
I am trying to wait for the show to begin
amid
incoherent chattering of children.
I have 2 masses.
One in my abdomen.
One in my uterus.
I have a CT scan tomorrow.
I want to sleep.
Eyes.

Zombies and mermaids....oh my!!!!!!!!

2011-05-31T14:59:00.000-07:00

Merry Winter!

2010-12-29T13:41:00.000-08:00

meloncholy

2010-11-30T13:09:00.000-08:00

No computer=????

2010-11-08T13:13:00.000-08:00

I never thought having a computer would matter that much. Really.

We have no internet(except my pld skool phone) and no TV. It's a cool time to watch my son fill his time without me nagging him off the computer.

And who could blame him?

He is a boy.

He is visual.

Games are awesome.

So I am told.

Yep.

That's the kicker.

Mama ain't no computer playa.

Hem. Hem.

Except the Facebook and such.

So, I have the Comcast number written down to call for a time to "hook-up" our hook-up.

What shall we do when the computer comes to call?

The Heart Rate Increases

2010-09-01T19:26:00.000-07:00

New school and student for me. Eek.

New school for G. Eek.

Moving into new apartment in new town a week after school starts. My stomach hurts. I wanna puke. I am trying to take it in stride, but my body is betraying me.

Parents moving to Arizona. Dad has another heart issue. Sigh.

Wants love. Tried again. Again. Blah. They want to fuck me. Not date me. I have no time.

I have my child 24/7. Shit.

Embrace the chaos!!!!!

Pale Shelter

2010-03-15T09:06:00.000-07:00

Our assembly today-Columbine survivor speaking about a friend teaching Kindness

2010-01-06T11:47:00.000-08:00

http://www.rachelschallenge.org/

Rachel Scott was the first person killed at Columbine High School on April 20, 1999. Her acts of kindness and compassion coupled with the contents of her six diaries have become the foundation for one of the most life-changing school programs in America. Powerful video/audio footage of Rachel's life and the Columbine tragedy holds students spell-bound during a one hour school presentation that motivates them to positive change in the way they treat others.

Nicole Nowlen PRESENTER:
Nicole is a former Columbine student who was in the school's library that day. After surviving being shot by the gunmen, she graduated from Columbine in 2001. Since her graduation, she shared her story with hundreds of thousands of people. Since 2006 she has been sharing Rachel's story across the country and even in Canada and Bermuda. Nicole has been featured in People and Teen People magazines as well as on The Today Show and The Montel Williams Show. Nicole hopes that Rachel's story impacts students to make a difference in the lives of others that are around them every single day.

I am not sure how I will react. I work with a student in 6th grade diagnosed with autism. I am unsure of their reaction as well. Just thinking about where I was that day and how this assembly, in a middle school, will be taken by students and adults alike..........................off .

Sometimes the love is too infinite for words.

2009-12-13T21:58:00.000-08:00

The Hunted. The Prey. THe lost. Remember.......

2009-12-10T12:22:00.000-08:00

Remember when you were the hunted

Remember how I swallowed you in

Remember the rewards shimmering on the floor

Off the plastic chandelier

Remember when I saw you in orbit

Remember when I pulled you back in

Remember looking on blinking into the dawn

Thinking how this will never end

Surrounded

Let's romanticize our beloved memories

Surrounded

Let's demonize our softest injuries

Surrounded

Can we get behind distortion and liberties

Surrounded

We're surrounded, spiraling

Remember when I played assassin

Remember when my joking turned grim

Remember how we thought if we followed the dots

It would stop all the accidents

Remember when you broke my halo

Remember how I tied your wings in

Remember how we slipped all the lies we equipped

Just to bring back the goods again

Surrounded

Let's romanticize our beloved memories

Surrounded

Let's demonize our softest injuries

Surrounded

Can we get behind distortion and liberties

Surrounded

We're surrounded, spiraling

Is it perfect in our little hell

Are you dancing or stumbling beside me

Well this might not be

We'll just wait and see

So now that we've stopped hearing echoes

And now that the replay wore thin

Just remember who held you, remember who held you

Remember who held you, remember who held you

Surrounded

Let's romanticize our beloved memories

Surrounded

Let's demonize our softest injuries

Surrounded

Can we get behind distortion and liberties

Surrounded We're surrounded, spiraling

Is it perfect in our little hell

muddy boots-blood splatter

2009-11-29T17:34:00.000-08:00

Muddy boots
soiled heart
blood splatter
infallable tear
Dying leaves
shrunken soul
black teeth
seconds stop
still wind

Fantasy?

2009-11-19T21:59:00.000-08:00

You make me wannnna uhh uhh uhh uhhhhhh
dance, sing, fuck, explore, smoke, drink, gimme water
open road, full tank, green, orange, red, sign up ahead
smile baby we on the road to nowhere fast
Aint it grand?

TRUST

2009-11-15T21:09:00.000-08:00

I don't trust.
Why not? Is it something I fear? Can I sense when the lie comes out. So easily blown off. Maybe it's just the wrong people in my life. I try to make shit work, but in the end, it's the same ol shit. Or it's the simple fact that if I trust and begin to be happy, they will let me down. Toss me away. I am hurt. Is it really a privilage to talk with you? Could you not just call me? How come I don't believe that it's someone's friend. She is his best friend and she is bringing a friend. Who you say is not attractive. Does it really matter? We dont have to see each other. You could just pick up the phone. But, that would be toooo easy. And take you away from your company. Boo hoo.
Fuck.
I don't trust.

I am a fucking gullible MORON!

2009-11-14T19:04:00.000-08:00

...........

Wonder Love

2009-09-23T22:59:00.000-07:00

I found this picture again. I love this picture. I can see his dimple and the total wonder of his face. Not just the sweet smile. There's the boy with the gift of animals. He can feel a space and a beings mood almost instantly.

This was taken last December in California at Maggie's. I cannot believe it's been almost a year. He is so young looking here. So big. However, in this photo I see the essence of my child. The whole being and the utter love I have for this wonder. I get to witness this person everyday.

2009-09-11T18:54:00.000-07:00

Lights go out and I can't be saved

Tides that I tried to swim against

You've put me down upon my knees

Oh I beg, I beg and please, singin'Come out of things unsaid

Shoot, an apple off my head.

And theTrouble that cant be named

The tiger's waiting to be tamed singin'

You are

Youare

Confusion never stops

Closing walls and ticking clocks

Gonna come back and take you home

I could not stop but you now know, singin'

Come out upon my seas,

Curse missed opportunities

Am I a part of the cure

Or am I part of the disease, singin

'You are, you are

You are, you are

Nothing else compares.

Oh, no nothing else compares

You are

Home, home where I wanted to go

Right Where it Belongs

2009-08-26T21:53:00.001-07:00

Books rock my world

2009-08-21T20:55:00.000-07:00

Just a *few* books around my place :D

Today my son and I went to second hand stores. He usually balks because I spend wayyyy too much time looking at books! However, today he picked out two books!! Amazing, really. We also hit the library and he checked out a bunch of graphic novels to take home. Mouth open.....he has yet to understand my passion regarding books. He enjoys comics and graphic novels and I am gonna just go with the flow....................

I discovered a new author, Keith Donohue. I checked out his book, "The Stolen Child" about a child who hides in a hollow tree and is kidnapped by changelings, wild children who don't age and live in the darkness.............fantasy genre of course.

I was also taken by a graphic novel I had to read. "Mad Hatter III: Through the Looking Glass" by Liz Cavalier. Don't know too much about it, interesting art tho............

I have been a bit stressed lately and have not been reading. WHAT? My mind wondering off to other areas of my life, not the book at hand. Reading has always been my solace and I am again realizing why............

Peace.

Feeling restless

2009-08-20T23:39:00.000-07:00

For a Friday Laugh :P

2009-08-14T17:17:00.000-07:00

Ohh my. Ya, I just needed a chuckle today~ Happy Friday!

Well Fuckity fuck fuck ;)

2009-08-13T22:56:00.000-07:00

Yes, I admit it. I love a good curse word. Always have I must say. Not all the time, but the f bomb might just slip out occasionally. Hehe. I remember one time my best friend and I during our high school years had a cussin incident. Just happened to be with the cops. Did not spy them. They overheard us I assume because they accused us of not being very lady like. Guilty. Shrug. I also witnessed my son at the ripe age of two, drop his cup and say, "ohh shit" like it was nothin. I have tried to curb my usage of said words. Sometimes I regress, for shame!!!

However, I do enjoy how fuck, motherfucker, and what the hell, roll off my tongue at times. Yes, yes, I do.

I Felt Like Things Would Be Alright

2009-08-13T16:17:00.000-07:00

one pic to make you smile

2009-08-06T22:04:00.000-07:00

Raspberry Pickin With My Son, and Niece & Nephew from Cali

2009-08-05T23:14:00.000-07:00

The Outside Theatre

2009-08-04T11:54:00.000-07:00

Waitin for the show

silly boy

movie and popcorn please Yay!

Way cool Saturday nights in the summer!!!

I miss drive-ins, but this is pretty good.

ya, thats him

2009-08-03T23:29:00.000-07:00

you go on yer Ten site

your facebook to say hi to the gurlzzz

but how bout me>no big surprise

this coexist, love, peace, understanding talk

does not extend to me.

So how do you go about your day

forgetting one that you sooooo

admired

gave affection

wanted to wake up with

Does the pain ever seep through

or do you just lay your head down and

dream of

me?

I am trying

2009-08-02T23:32:00.000-07:00

Its so difficult when people decide to stop talking to you. When they give you no reason why. After months of affection and friendship. They would rather be with others that have no affiliation at all with what they think. Immature. Hell Yeah! haha. Inside joke. Makes me wonder what is said regarding me and my search for answers. Being ignored is not attractive on me. I am a seeker of truth. Too bad the one who can give it hides away. Make sure you tell them the whole story now. It was never one-sided. I guess kind women who are trustworthy and loyal just dont do it for you. Take the pain away. Take the tears. Take the stream of words that came from you.........................did it make you run?

Showed him and I told him how he struck me but I'm Fucked up now.........

2009-07-31T23:30:00.000-07:00

Just change the "she" to a "he" and that's how I feel

There must be somethingIn the way I feel

That she don't want me to feel

The stare she bares cut me

I don't care

You see so what if I bleed

I could never change

Just what I feel

My face will never show

What is not real

A mountain never seems to have

The need to speak

A look that shares so many seek

The sweetest feeling

I got from youThe things

I said to you were true

I could never change

Just what I feel

My face will never show

What is not real

I could have lied I'm such a fool

My eyes could never never never

Keep their cool

Showed her and I told her how

She struck me but I'm fucked up now

But now she's gone yes she's gone away

A soulful song

That would not stay

You see she hides 'cause she is scared

But I don't care

I won't be spared

I could have lied I'm such a fool

My eyes could never never never

Keep their cool

Showed her and I told her how

She struck me but I'm fucked up now

I could have lied I'm such a fool

My eyes could never never never

Keep their cool

Showed her and I told her how

She struck me but I'm fucked up now

Heartbreak is a bitch

2009-07-30T16:36:00.001-07:00

All you have to do is make it right.

me myself and I

2009-07-28T23:47:00.000-07:00

single mama
baking crazy
2 vw buses, 2 beatles
mutter to myself
empathetic
very sensitive
singing
swimming
yosemite fire
madrid bomb
tongue tacos
bites nails
collect old keys
steampunk
Mexico
southwest, west, PNW, south
2 pain disorders
loyal
love cartoons
read
social justice
peace
red
survivor
trickster

Needs

2009-07-22T16:09:00.000-07:00

"I crave you mouth, your voice, your hair.
Silent and starving, I prowl through the streets.
Bread does not nourish me, dawn disrupts me, all day
I hunt for the liquid measure of your steps.

I hunger for your sleek laugh,
your hands the color of a savage harvest,
hunger for the pale stones of your fingernails,
I want to eat your skin like a whole almond.

I want to eat the sunbeam flaring in your lovely body,
the sovereign nose of your arrogant face,
I want to eat the fleeting shade of your lashes,

and I pace around hungry, sniffing the twilight,
hunting for you, for your hot heart,
Like a puma in the barrens of Quitratue."
~Pablo Neruda

boom boom

2009-07-18T17:50:00.000-07:00

boom boom
my heart
boom boom
my tears
boom boom
my ache
boom boom
my breath
boom boom
my fall

why not?Me?

2009-07-18T17:46:00.000-07:00

cant you see what these dates do to my heart
summer fun with a fling i am not invited to participate
what happened to your affection
your warmness, your soul
did it fly away when you were sleeping
or was it snatched in the middle of the night while the
curtains fluttered.

Farmer's Market Part 2!! Woof.

2009-07-12T20:23:00.001-07:00

"I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts." - John Steinbeck

If you can't decide between a Shepherd, a Setter or a Poodle, get them all ... adopt a mutt!" - ASPCA

Snif snif snif.................is that cookies and muffins I smell?

"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion." - Unknown

~ Animals show us the way~

"I once decided not to date a guy because he wasn't excited to meet my dog. I mean, this was like not wanting to meet my mother." - Bonnie Schacter, Founder of the Single Pet Owner's Society Singles Group

To look into a dog's eyes, is to see the soul

"Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot little puppies." - Gene Hill

I adore dogs. I miss my right hand man Willow everyday......................

Man in the Parking Lot

2009-07-11T09:41:00.000-07:00

Sending side glances at your neck-tie wearing ass.
Ya, that's right.
read my fuckin bumperstickers, eat your loaded calorieKFC massacre.
Go ahead, laugh out loud. It's stickers on a car man.
Wait, you notice me lookin. Hmm, You smile.
Love thoses roaming eyes. Like what you see Mr. ?
Watch me walk, to, that, oh no, car.
Sneer, one last up and down, walk to your maroon painted all purpose vehicle. Drive off with a squeal.
Damn, you the man. I am so sad.

Haircut Maintence

2009-07-09T18:09:00.000-07:00

I love this style. It's just, well, I kinda lag on the up keep, hehe. Really. I need to get it done and well, I wanted to post this picture to remind me-GET A HAIRCUT!!!

That is all......................

The Saturday Market Part 1-The food!!

2009-07-05T14:49:00.000-07:00

"let thy food be thy medicine and thy medicine be thy food"~Hippocrates

"I am not a glutton-I am an explorer of food"~Erma Bombeck

"One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well"~Virginia Woolf

"Make [food] simple and let things taste of what they are"~Curnonsky

"Food is our common ground, a universal experience"~James Beard

Overheard, "well, we got kind of a hippy market down here." Haha. I totally dig it!

My heart grows

2009-07-03T15:29:00.000-07:00

Shh.....he's holding my hand. I am giggling inside, full of light.

Wait! I wanna picture!! He pulls away, saying, "Never!" I don't know if they are turning out..................so, I click, click, click.

Summer. Time off to chill with my son. Holding my hand is waning.......

So, he surprises me with this token of mama love. I dig it.

breath catches

2009-06-30T19:34:00.000-07:00

The sight of someone's name, should it make me breathless?
On paper, online, in text, on phone? It's been quite a trip, this emotional let-down, evoking the feeling of my milk dropping down, the relief of feeding, nurishing my son. I want to feed my fervent emotions, to release them, to shine, to blind with the stunning glow errupting from my heart. Share my breath, catching all the way to my spine. I beg of you, let me.

I dig this

2009-06-25T14:17:00.000-07:00

I have to admit I have a thing for the lead singer in THIS video, hehe. Ohh, the song has been stuck in my head for some time. So happy they are coming to Eugene!!!

Cosmic dance

2009-06-23T19:00:00.000-07:00

So intense
I am on another plane of existence.
One of pure feeling and neurological impulses. Mind streaming serotonin and adrenaline.
Neurons firing in a pattern that hits me with the full force
of the
millions of years that it took to become
me.

Summer Solstice

2009-06-21T01:58:00.000-07:00

Night in Day

by Joseph Stroud

The night never wants to end, to give itself over

to light. So it traps itself in things: obsidian, crows.

Even on summer solstice, the day of light's great

triumph, where fields of sunflowers guzzle in the sun-

we break open the watermelon and spit out

black seeds, bits of night glistening on the grass.

Depression is a #^$##*

2009-06-20T23:32:00.000-07:00

SCHOOOLS OUT FOR SUMMER!

2009-06-18T11:28:00.001-07:00

Apathy is Dead in Iran

2009-06-16T11:13:00.001-07:00

Green: colour of solidarity

Do we even remeber our 2000 elections??

Iran elections: Mousavi joins hundreds of thousands of supporters at rally in Tehran
"God willing, we will take back our rights," Mousavi shouted from the roof of a car amid a vast sea of Iranians, young and old, who packed into central Tehran to protest Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's re-election.

CLICK HERE:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/pda/2009/jun/16/twitter-middleeast

Video feed on Twitter.

Twitter delays maintenance to support Iranian protests
Micro-blogging service Twitter has delayed downtime because of the role it is playing in post-election protests in Iran

My 100th post!!

Hollow Bones

2009-06-14T21:56:00.000-07:00

Birds wings

Fluttering hitting

hollow bones.

mantra

2009-06-13T14:52:00.000-07:00

http://rowansart.typepad.com/

Hard lesson to learn..............or is it?

2009-06-13T08:16:00.000-07:00

the book was suprisingly on the spot when I read it years ago. As for the movie? Meh. However, AT LEAST in this movie, not every woman is happily ever after at the end. This, to me, is an improvement of sorts. Especially, when you are indeed single and generally happy at my age. HA!

Ohh! Can Scarlett Johansen get any hotter?

Primal

2009-06-10T16:15:00.000-07:00

Primal
felt insecure
Cause you said maybe I couldn't hear over me
I guess that might have been a turn-off?
Then, you had your moment
and I did not know
So, I was foolishly continuing with language
the talk
fool, fool, fool

I am sad cause
I wanna hear you
wanna feel you
in your moment

The primal in me
wanting to watch you
hear you

How to go from thinking
of you
touching me
my leg, wait, thigh
to touching my
body
and
thinking of
you
against
me

You see
even the thought of
being near
you
can give me a
moment

Not even the actual act has
occurred
in my mind
I am still on
feeling you
smelling you
being near you
I am

handle life

2009-06-09T21:12:00.000-07:00

Wha? Wha?
Break the cycle
Wha? Wha?
Break the cycle
Break the cycle

should it be a chant? When we feel we have done exacty as planned, is it enough? when you find out that the cycle you are breaking is one that you felt everyone must have gone through. Ha! Alas, no. bitterness. How can you survive on raw bones and blood. Break the cycle.

Mother do you think they'll drop the bomb

2009-06-08T21:20:00.000-07:00

Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher

This young adult book focuses on Hannah and Clay. It also dives into teen suicide and is hard to put down. Hannah has committed suicide. Clay received a box of tapes in the mail. 13 sides for thirteen reasons why. Each side is for a person, including Clay. He wonders how he could be part of the tapes. He had a crush on Hannah, but never got close. It's told in dual narratives that are heartbreaking, confusing, and mind-numbing. Follow Clay one night as he listens to 13 reasons while roaming the streets of his home town. Insightful and definitely not just for teen readers.

My needle-felting

2009-06-03T22:24:00.000-07:00

http://pressedleaves.blogspot.com/2009/05/felt-cuties.html

I finally finished a needle-felting project! YAY! My friend over at Pressed leaves posted some pics. So, why don't ya just skip on over and see them :)
Then, you can stay awhile and read.....................

no more nice girls

2009-06-03T22:20:00.000-07:00

His Jihad airing nightly

2009-06-02T13:43:00.000-07:00

Seems to me that one may care.
However, it's not to be.
Tiller the baby killer has been shot!
The hate speech, aired 28 times.
Mass murderer, blood on his hands.
Red face, confident sneer.
Provoking hate and acts of violence.
Who me? He looks surprised.

Remembrance

2009-06-02T13:30:00.000-07:00

Father
Grandfather
Doctor
Confidant
Husband
Humble warrior of woman's rights.

What shall we remember of this day?
All the ones who laughed at the thought?
Our ideology of life does not include murder.
Yet
Four since 1993
Terrorized by a jihad
That promises death and destruction
Of their enemies.

One man
Who upheld a legal procedure
helping women
giving privacy
Choice
Afraid for his patients
If anything happened to him.

One man
Who loved his wife
Made his children laugh
Watched his grandchildren with awe
Wonder
Life

A Poem For A Student Lost

2009-05-28T21:24:00.000-07:00

Written by my friend and co-worker LaVonne Chue
A former student at the school I work at passed away(16). I did not know her, but know her younger siblings(1st grade). However, this has affected many wonderful people I work with at the school. It is incredibly sad, but through support, I am hoping for some calm and understanding. Please keep them in your thoughts. Peace.

I wish you knew
Tomorrow would be better.
That life is full of disappointment
and victories.
I wish you knew how your smile
was so contagious
and your bright eyes put people at ease.

I wish you had a chanceto experience more.
Love, independence, responsibility
and your own power.
I wish we knew
you were hurting inside.
You put on such a
Strong front.

I wish I knew
How I could have helped.
How can we see
what is in your thoughts behind the brown eyes and perfect smile.

How can we create a spark of light
When the world is dark and desperate.

I wish you knew
How losing you
Will make me try harder
Make me think smarter
about the world and how words
will change a mind
and how a little compliment
might warm a saddened heart.

I wish you new,
I wish we knew,
I wish you weren’t gone.

What happens when you forget how to communicate?

2009-05-27T07:21:00.000-07:00

I know this. I have done this. Why can't I remember? This mini-article refocused me. Actually, NVC is harder than you would think. I took a class. Had index cards to help me. Soon, it faded into the background. It's tough to keep up NVC when those around you do not understand, or just don't respond to your patience. Or, they just don't respond in kind. However, it's about stating what you observe, feel, need and request. So, ultimately, you have stayed peaceful and got it off your chest. Plus, the other person feels empathy and resolve with you.

Unfortunately, I let another have a bit of power over me. Thus, the non-violent communication went out the window. I was hurt, and I responded. Almost like the fight or flight went off in my brain.

Today, I can remember and stay focused on understanding, love and compassion.

Peace to you!!

The Non-Violent Communication Process

The+Non-Violent+Communication+Process

To arrive at a mutual desire to give from the heart, we focus the light of consciousness on four areas–referred to as the four components of the NVC (non-violent communication) model.

First, we observe what is actually happening in a situation: what are we observing others saying or doing that is either enriching or not enriching our life? The trick is to be able to articulate this observation without introducing any judgment or evaluation–to simply say what people are doing that we either like or don’t like.
Four components of NVC:

1. observation

2. feeling

3. needs

4. request

Next, we state how we feel when we observe this action: are we hurt, scared, joyful, amused, irritated, etc.? And thirdly, we say what needs of ours are connected to the feelings we have identified. An awareness of these three components is present when we use NVC to clearly and honestly express how we are.

For example, a mother might express these three pieces to her teenage son by saying, “Felix, when I see two balls of soiled socks under the coffee table and another three next to the TV, I feel irritated because I am needing more order in the rooms which we share in common.”

She would follow immediately with the fourth component–a very specific request: “Would you be willing to put your socks in your room or in the washing machine?” This fourth component addresses what we are wanting from the other person that would enrich our lives or make life more wonderful for us.

Thus, part of NVC is to express these four pieces of information very clearly, whether verbally or by other means. The other aspect of this communication consists of receiving the same four pieces of information from others. We connect with them by first sensing what they are observing, feeling, and needing, and then discover what would enrich their lives by receiving the fourth piece, their request. As we keep our attention focused on the areas mentioned, and help others do likewise, we establish a flow of communication, back and forth, until compassion manifests naturally: what I am observing, feeling, and needing; what I am requesting to enrich my life; what you are observing, feeling, and needing; what you are requesting to enrich your life.

Airport dreams

2009-05-22T21:34:00.001-07:00

reading I look up

you are walking towards me

I see a slight smile

I pick-up my bag and we stand apart

Which one will move?

Fuck the Norovirus

2009-05-22T21:00:00.000-07:00

This sucks. What else can I say. A three day weekend and I get the virus of the stomach. Looks like I will be close to the bathroom for a couple dayz. Ewwwww! The Dr told me to lay off the Imodium AD. Nicce. Ginger ale here I come!

From the CDC:

What are noroviruses?Noroviruses are a group of viruses that cause the “stomach flu,” or gastroenteritis (GAS-tro-en-ter-I-tis), in people. The term norovirus was recently approved as the official name for this group of viruses. Several other names have been used for noroviruses, including:
Norwalk-like viruses (NLVs)
caliciviruses (because they belong to the virus family Caliciviridae)
small round structured viruses.

Viruses are very different from bacteria and parasites, some of which can cause illnesses similar to norovirus infection. Like all viral infections, noroviruses are not affected by treatment with antibiotics, and cannot grow outside of a person’s body.

What are the symptoms of illness caused by noroviruses?The symptoms of norovirus illness usually include nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, and some stomach cramping. Sometimes people additionally have a low-grade fever, chills, headache, muscle aches, and a general sense of tiredness. The illness often begins suddenly, and the infected person may feel very sick. In most people the illness is self-limiting with symptoms lasting for about 1 or 2 days. In general, children experience more vomiting than adults.

What is the name of the illness caused by noroviruses?Illness caused by norovirus infection has several names, including:
stomach flu – this “stomach flu” is not related to the flu (or influenza), which is a respiratory illness caused by influenza virus.
viral gastroenteritis – the most common name for illness caused by norovirus. Gastroenteritis refers to an inflammation of the stomach and intestines.
acute gastroenteritis
non-bacterial gastroenteritis
food poisoning (although there are other causes of food poisoning)
calicivirus infection

How serious is norovirus disease?

People may feel very sick and vomit/diarrhea many times a day, but most people get better within 1 or 2 days, and they have no long-term health effects related to their illness. However, sometimes people are unable to drink enough liquids to replace the liquids they lost because of vomiting and diarrhea. These persons can become dehydrated (loose too much water from their body) and may need special medical attention. During norovirus infection, this problem with dehydration is usually only seen among the very young, the elderly, and people with other illness. (For more information see Is there a treatment for norovirus infection?)

Soulmate or let's lose control

2009-05-20T14:53:00.001-07:00

To My Soulmate
By Linda Diaz

I know that you are out there
I can feel it deep within
and as soon as you find me
we can let our love begin.

This passion burning in my soul
is a fire burning bright.
The moment you first see me you will know
it as love at first sight.

I'm not sure as to when you'll find me
hopefully, very soon.
If it's dark when you start looking 4 me
then use the light of the moon.

This vision that I have of you
I can barely see your face
Your touch is electrifying,
then you disappear without a trace.

I have never really met you - only in
my world of dreams
But I know you're out there somewhere
very close it seems.

I need to find you soon
or I'm going to go insane.
I crave to feel your passionate embrace
again and again and again.

I desire your touch like the flowers need the sun
To feel our passion freely
to know you are the one.

The passionate romantic side of me
will always love you so
Until the day we do finally meet
and we both lose all control.

Help I'm Alive

2009-05-14T21:13:00.000-07:00

Trees I adore

2009-05-12T18:20:00.000-07:00

Those who dwell among the beauties and mysteries of the earth are never alone or weary of life.

Rachel Carson

Bright, Bright, sun Shiny Day!

2009-05-09T21:20:00.000-07:00

Up early for the last game of the season.

Playing and hangin out in the yard. Action shot!

The dog and I. Love the sun, need a tan!

My lovely and yummy lettuce varieties!!!

Goldie loves the grass!! Isn't she cute?? G took this picture.

Bees are awesome. Thanks to them, we get these!!

Following the command, "go get G Goldie, get um!!"

Little mushrooms in the sun.

Kickin it in the yard on a sunny day. Much love.

Taunts

2009-05-08T20:43:00.000-07:00

Vitimamin D Deficiency

2009-05-07T22:36:00.000-07:00

Vitamin D deficiency symptoms
Vitamin D deficiency may be characterized by muscle pain, weak bones/fractures, low energy and fatigue, lowered immunity, symptoms of depression and mood swings, and sleep irregularities. Women with renal problems or intestinal concerns (such as IBS or Crohn’s disease) may be vitamin D deficient because they can neither absorb nor adequately convert the nutrient.
Vitamin D, menopause, and osteoporosis

I have recently been diagnosed with a vit D deficiency. I suffer from all of these symptoms. I now take 50,ooo units 2x a week. In the store you can buy up to 2,000 units. Oh MY!!! I just started and do hope it helps!!

Here is some more of the article a a link. Peace.

Vitamin D, menopause, and osteoporosis
As we age, our bodies slowly lose the ability to mobilize vitamin D, a process that lowers our calcium absorption rates. This creates a higher risk of osteoporosis, particularly in post-menopausal women.
We’re not sure how sex hormones affect vitamin D conversion, but women seem to have a harder time stimulating the mechanism that builds bone tissue when their estrogen levels are reduced.

Calcium is clearly an important co-factor to vitamin D, and may lose efficacy if vitamin D is deficient or estrogen levels are low, as vitamin D appears to be the more critical factor in bone health. A recent study by scientists at the University of Massachusetts found that a diet rich in calcium and vitamin D can help control some symptoms of PMS, such as tearfulness, anxiety, and irritability.
What does this mean? No one knows for sure, but it is more evidence that all the systems of the body are connected and we can’t look for easy answers in one place.

Vitamin D and weight loss
I’m sure many of you have seen the “diet with dairy” ads launched by the American Dairy Council. Some studies have shown that weight loss does occur with an increase in calcium intake, while others appear to refute this. Since vitamin D is directly involved in calcium absorption, it stands to reason that vitamin D is also a factor in how the body regulates weight.
Moreover, people who have a reduced capacity to mobilize vitamin D often weigh more and have more body fat than those with full capacity. In the past 20 years multiple studies have shown a correlation between higher blood levels of vitamin D and leaner body mass.

To my thinking, what seems essential for us to understand here is the vitamin D connection with insulin resistance. Vitamin D deficiency may contribute to the wide set of disorders associated with metabolic syndrome (syndrome X), as well as to PCOS. In a study published in 2004, the authors saw a 60% improvement in insulin sensitivity in healthy, vitamin D replete adults — and concluded vitamin D was more potent than two prescription medications commonly used to treat type 2 diabetes! But the cadres of drug reps spread out across America are not likely to be reminding your healthcare practitioner about this study. They are not likely to have heard about it!

Clearly, vitamin D seems to be very important in regulating our weight, but we don’t yet understand the mechanism involved or how it relates to our environment and individual biochemistry. Still, there seems to be a correlation between rising rates of obesity and vitamin D deficiency. If you are having difficulty with insulin resistance or weight gain — or can’t keep the pounds off once you lose them — you may want to have your vitamin D levels checked by your healthcare practitioner.
Vitamin D and cancer
Evidence is mounting that vitamin D may protect against some cancers, particularly breast cancer, prostate cancer, and colorectal cancers. In fact, over 60 years of research have shown vitamin D supplementation or sunlight-induced vitamin D conversion to be associated with lower incidence of cancers.
There is also a higher incidence of breast cancer in northern climates, but whether that is associated with lower levels of vitamin D is still speculation. Vitamin D deficiency most certainly affects your immune system because calcitriol actually helps regulate cell division, so adequate levels may help sustain normal cell growth. And stress and other physiological markers can disrupt the function of vitamin D receptors, among others, making us more susceptible to unusual cell activity.

Vitamin D and depression
Another area of vitamin D research is its relationship to depression. Seasonal affective disorder, or SAD, is a situational mood disorder brought on by decreasing daylight in the winter months. High doses of vitamin D during these months have proven to be a very effective natural remedy for SAD, leading most practitioners to believe that normal neurotransmitter function depends in part on adequate vitamin D synthesis.
Vitamin D levels are inversely related to those of melatonin, another mood-regulating hormone. Melatonin helps modulate your circadian rhythms, with darkness triggering melatonin secretion by the pineal gland within your brain, bringing you down gently at night for sleep. Insomnia, mood swings and food cravings are influenced by melatonin. Sunlight shuts melatonin production off, while triggering release of vitamin D — that’s why doctors recommend getting outdoors as a remedy for jet lag.
Most of us can sense the positive influence of sunlight in our own lives by the immediate lift we get from taking a walk outdoors on a beautiful sunny day. Now there may be many factors at work that brighten our mood in such cases, but sun exposure is almost certainly a critical piece. Soaking in the warmth of the sun is one of the most relaxing activities we share with all living creatures — just watch a cat dozing in a beam of sunlight.

Major vitamin D functions
Supports key mineral absorption and metabolism (especially calcium and phosphorus in the blood and bones).
Regulates normal cell differentiation and proliferation (e.g., prevention of cancer).
Promotes insulin sensitivity and blood sugar regulation (insulin secretion).
Regulates over 200 genes through binding to vitamin D receptors throughout the body.

http://www.womentowomen.com/healthynutrition/vitamind.aspx

Breastfeeding and The Swine (H1N1) Flu! YES!!!

2009-05-06T09:09:00.000-07:00

Does breastfeeding protect babies from this new flu virus?
There are many ways that breastfeeding and breast milk protect babies’ health. Since this is a new virus, we don’t know yet about protection specific against it. Mothers pass on protective antibodies to their baby during breastfeeding. Antibodies are a type of protein made by the immune system in the body. Antibodies help fight off infection.

Flu can be very serious in young babies. Babies who are not breastfed get sick from infections like the flu more often and more severely than babies who are breastfed.
Should I stop breastfeeding my baby if I think I have come in contact with the flu?

No. Because mothers make antibodies to fight diseases they come in contact with, their milk is custom-made to fight the diseases their babies are exposed to as well. This is really important in young babies when their immune system is still developing. Breastfeeding also helps the baby to develop his own ability to fight off diseases.

Is it ok to breastfeed my baby if I am sick?
Yes. This is really important.
Do not stop breastfeeding if you are ill. Ideally babies less than about 6 months of age should get their feedings from breast milk. Breastfeed early and often. Limit formula feeds as much as possible. This will help protect your baby from infection.
If you are too sick to breastfeed, pump and have someone give the expressed milk to your baby.

If my baby is sick, is it okay to breastfeed?

Yes. One of the best things you can do for your sick baby is keep breastfeeding.
Do not stop breastfeeding if your baby is ill. Give your baby many chances to breastfeed throughout the illness. Babies who are sick need more fluids than when they are well. The fluid babies get from breast milk is better than anything else, even better than water, juice, or Pedialyte® because it also helps protect your baby’s immune system.
If your baby is too sick to breastfeed, he or she can drink your milk from a cup, bottle, syringe, or eye-dropper.

If no expressed milk is available, you can give your baby milk donated by other mothers to a HMBANA-certified milk bank .

Is it okay to take medicine to treat or prevent novel H1N1 flu while breastfeeding?
Yes. Mothers who are breastfeeding should continue to nurse their babies while being treated for the flu.
Please check back to the CDC H1N1 website often for the most recent updates

Inspiration needed!!!

2009-05-05T11:47:00.000-07:00

Spring!!

2009-05-03T01:03:00.000-07:00

"It's May! It's May! The lusty month of May! Those dreary vows that ev'ryone makes, Ev'ryone breaks.
Ev'ryone makes divine mistakes!
The lusty month of May!"- Lerner and Lowe

"Walking around
an early spring garden--
going nowhere."- Kyoshi

"daylight and darkness
Spring balanced"- Michael Garofalo

"Let us dance in the sun, wearing wild flowers in our hair and let us huddle together as darkness takes over We are at home amidst the birds and the trees, for we are children of nature."- Susan Polis Shutz

Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come.- Chinese proverb

gotta have a laugh

2009-05-03T01:00:00.000-07:00

A coloring page for Beltane

2009-04-30T13:51:00.000-07:00

Beltane AKA May Day is tomorrow!! I wanted to post this at it's regular size, but could not(ahh. Click the picture). HOWEVER, if you look at the bottom of the picture you will find a link to follow!! There can be found a wonderful newsletter regarding Beltane, and the coloring page.

Blessed Be!

Peace

Ohhh! More to come. I do have work to do!! Fun and food!!

Prosecuting War Crimes-Nick Mottern peace.org

2009-04-21T06:46:00.000-07:00

On Prosecuting War Crimes
Tuesday 21 April 2009
by: Nick Mottern, t r u t h o u t Perspective
US President Barack Obama (center) is escorted to his limousine by Central Intelligence Agency Director Leon Panetta (right) and Stephen Kappes (left), deputy director of the CIA. (Photo: Getty Images) http://www.truthout.org

The following is an excerpt from a talk by Nick Mottern on April 19, 2009, delivered after receiving a Peace and Justice Award from the WESPAC Foundation in White Plains, New York.
I asked (several friends) what they would like me to speak about today, and the consensus was: Tell people why you do peace and justice work. I will get to that in the course of my remarks.
I want to address a fundamental issue facing us right now: President Obama has said that people who have committed torture during the Bush/Cheney years will not be prosecuted. He said: "Nothing will be gained by spending our time and energy laying blame for the past - we must resist the forces that divide us, and instead come together on behalf of our common future."
I would like to make two points.
First - President Obama is sending the message that there will be no investigations and prosecutions that are "divisive," that is, if they are politically difficult.
Is this a message then to the Yonkers (New York) police, for example, that they will not be prosecuted under federal law if they continue to humiliate and physically abuse people in the black and Hispanic community?
Is Mr. Obama sending a message to certain big bankers who are stealing from us every day in a variety of ways that they are simply too big to be prosecuted?
Is it a message that the legal system that is decimating our black and Hispanic communities with the disproportionate imprisonment of black and Hispanic men will go unchallenged?
My second point is that Mr. Obama's judgment on prosecution of torturers is central to the wars of our time.
Richard Nixon was forced out of office by Watergate; a burglary and cover-up, which was also an attempt to cover up domestic terrorism against his foes and particularly against African-Americans working for economic and social justice. Nixon was disgraced, but he did not go to jail.
But Nixon was not investigated, indicted or disgraced for a set of far greater crimes than Watergate. He and Henry Kissinger, and others, had, in the course of pursuing the Vietnam War, systematically, knowingly and willfully violated the US constitution and international law. International law doesn't get much respect in the US, even though it was forged out of the misery, degradation, sufferings and deaths of millions of people.
Nixon was a war criminal. Kissinger is a war criminal. They were responsible for millions of deaths, including the deaths in Cambodia wrought by our war on that nation which led to the scourge of Pol Pot.
We who were fighting for an end to the Vietnam War made a big mistake when that war stopped. We did not stay in the streets until Nixon, Kissinger and the others were investigated, prosecuted and imprisoned for war crimes.
I volunteered in 1962 to go to Vietnam. I was in the Navy on a ship that had extremely boring duty in the Pacific. I was 21 years old. I was looking for more exciting duty and the mystery, romance and adventure of Asia. I had been an avid reader of Terry and the Pirates comics. I believed our government, that we were fighting Communism and that that was important. And, it was an argument that gave me a righteous reason for what seemed to me high adventure.
Fortunately, I did not see combat in Vietnam. I was not called on to directly kill, nor was I threatened directly with death. But I went to Vietnam prepared to kill. And I did see death. I did see massive corruption. I was there because of a decision by then-President John Kennedy to expand the number of troops in Vietnam. I was there because of lies. I was there because the war crimes of the current Vietnamese leaders and the deceptions of the US had been covered up. I went to Vietnam because of lies and youthful stupidity, but nevertheless I feel a need to do what I can to repent for participating in the atrocity of Vietnam because I shared the same will to power and will for glory that drove our leaders and drove them to lie.
I believe that had Nixon and Kissinger been held accountable for their war crimes, we probably would not be in the wars we are in today. That is because in the very divisive process of investigating and prosecuting Nixon and Kissinger and others, we the American people would have learned something life-changing about ourselves as a people and about our acceptance of war.
Barack Obama is not given the right by our Constitution to be the judge and jury for torturers. I include Bush and Cheney in this category although they committed other war crimes. Mr. Obama and our Congress took oaths to uphold the Constitution and the laws of the land. They must be reminded that they must do this job regardless of whether they think it is divisive or not.
If President Obama and the Congress do their jobs of enforcing the law with respect to torture and other Bush and Cheney war crimes, they will begin unraveling the web of deceit that has supported the Iraq and Afghanistan wars.
We as Americans will learn things that we must learn to save countless lives here and in countries where we are supporting and waging war.

In Love

2009-04-19T20:31:00.000-07:00

I figured it out. The all day thoughts. Checking texts to see if one had come. To sigh at the sound of his voice. The slight nervousness of not hearing from him. It's love. Simple. Love. I have not been in love for so long, it seems I forgot what it was to be. Today, it just hit me. Laughing outside, I told myself, "I am in love."

Unrequited or reciprocated?? Isn't that the dilemma of it all?

To be honest, it does not matter. Why? You see I had forgotten this feeling. The idea that someone could be attracted to me and I to them. To see the future with them in it. The bliss and the euphoria of contact. So, this person has reminded me of what I am capable of being. I am so grateful. Love. Amazing. I love A. R. and I am happy.

Friday music-little mellow, little dancin

2009-04-17T14:41:00.000-07:00

My Friend Maggie is Gloriously Pegnant

2009-04-15T11:54:00.000-07:00

http://poemsandnovels.blogspot.com/2009/04/pregnant-pause.html
My friend Flux Capacitor aka Maggie is Pregnant!!! The link is above. Through years of desire and frustrating physical ailments, SHE IS PREGGO!!!
HOORAY!!!!! Ohhh Maggie! I am so happy for you that I had to post. Hugs.
She is experiencing nausea and vomiting, like some of us had. If you have any suggestions, feel free to tell them! I was sick my entire pregnancy sooooo, I am hoping for some positive feedback! I remember ginger and shakes.

Neurological Differences

2009-04-13T09:19:00.000-07:00

Heightened Level Of Amygdala Activity May Cause Social Deficits In Autism
ScienceDaily (2009-03-24) -- An increased pattern of brain activity in the amygdalas of adults with autism that may be linked to the social deficits that typically are associated with the disorder. Previous research has shown that abnormal growth patterns in the amygdala are commonly found among young children diagnosed with autism. ... > read full article

"This is another piece of evidence that there is something wrong with the amygdala in autism that contributes to social impairment. These results help refine our understanding of functional abnormalities in autism and are a new way of thinking about social dysfunction in autism," said Kleinhans'

I prefer differences rather tham abnormality. However, there is a striking difference between people with autism in regards to the amygdala and social interaction.

A MOTHER'S RESPONSE:

http://autism.change.org/blog/view/the_amygdala_and_autism

The Amygdala and Autism
by Kristina Chew
Published March 25, 2009 @ 02:15PM PST
Numerous articles about autism research in neuroscience, genetics, and other fields are regularly published. Some of them are presented in press releases and news articles, often with some indication of how the research might contribute to the creation of new treatments (such as medications) for those with autism. I turn to these studies principally to learn a bit more about how things are for Charlie; about why some of his struggles seem to arise "out of the blue" and for reasons that aren't immediately explainable.
The American Journal of Psychiatry has recently published a study about autism and hyperactivity and overarousal in the amygdala, an almond-shaped structure of the human brain that is linked with a person's mental and emotional states. In studying 19 individuals with autism and 20 adults who were not on the spectrum, researchers from the University of Washington found that, when looking at a series of human faces, "..... brain activation in adults with autism remains elevated long after similar brain regions of typically developed adults have stopped being activated," as noted in Science Daily. Further:
The amygdala is popularly associated with the "fight-or-flight response" in dangerous situations. But it has other functions, including identifying faces and situations and evaluating social information such as emotions.
The new research shows that brain activation in adults with autism remains elevated long after similar brain regions of typically developed adults have stopped being activated when exposed to a series of pictures of human faces. A decrease in activation over time to the same type of information is called neural habituation and is connected with learning, according to Natalia Kleinhans, lead author of the new study and a UW research assistant professor of radiology.
............................."If you consider that habituation reflects learning in as simple a task as looking at a face, slowness to habituate in people with autism may contribute even more markedly to difficulty with more complex social interactions and social cognition. If the brain is not reacting typically to a static face with a neutral expression, you can imagine how difficult it may be for someone with autism to pick up more subtle social cues."
It's this noting of "hyperarousal" and overactivation in response to "socially relevant stimuli" that draws my attention. Sometimes it seems that there are only extremes to things with Charlie. One moment no one could be happier, more excited, jumping up and down and all huge smiles; the next, he might be down on the ground wailing and miserable. Sometimes we use the word "mood swings" to explain these, but I've wondered if something else might be afoot----that there's some connections that aren't happening, that are taking too long too happen, that happen too suddenly and all at once.
We actually are taking Charlie to a different neurologist today. His current neurologist----whom we have seen for so long and with whom all three of us have a good rapport----is wonderful. But we've felt that we have to keep looking into everything for Charlie and, in particular, to look more closely at his medications and the potential effects of the changes brought with adolescence.
Last night I worked my way through the 17-page new patient form and dug out old reports, behavior intervention plans, and IEPs and reviewed them: A lot of paperwork on this kid, that's for sure and yet how little we still know and seek to learn in whatever ways possible---you never can stop trying

The mix tape

2009-04-11T22:10:00.000-07:00

Sittin by the window listening to the radio. Fingers on REC, waiting for that song to play. Come on now, ya, a bit of DJ intro and then, bam! "Brothers sisters we don't need this fascist groooove thing!" "Don't watch that, watch this. The heavy heavy monster sound. One step beyoooond." ahhh, the timing, the need. Then, the mix tape!! Oh yeahhhhhh. I remember them well. Love, madness, intoxication.

My friend Bill made me a rad mix tape in high school. Some Frank Zappa, "she's only 13 and she knows how to nasty." The doors, "Break on through, break on through, break, break." Some Beatles, "listen to the color of your dreams, is it not living, is it not living." The Cocteau Twins with their ethereal non-language singing. What a trip.

Best friends tape, punk of course! "Welcome to Der Wiener Schnitzel can I take your order please!" "To drunk to fuck, I'm to drunk to drunk to fuuuckkk." Hahaha, gettin chili fries at Tommy's in her blue 64 and a half Mustang. Sweeet.

She had all the angst and I had all the love, yaaaaa.

I still have some of those tapes of nightly sessions by the radio and turntable. The simple joy of dancing to the mix tape that made your body flyyyyyyy.

pain eases

2009-04-09T21:19:00.000-07:00

I have the beginning of a migraine. The left side is pulsating, the back of my head and neck are searching for answers. Yet again, damn serotonin.

The pain is actually welcome tonight. Dulls the other pain that plagues me. It's a bit better. I don't feel like someone kicked me in the stomach, but the questions might never be answered, so why bother. It's amazing how you can become lost. Drunkenly lost. Glass half-full lost.

Reminds me that I am still here, alive and feeling, face in the sun.

Tonight, the pain eases, with pain. Tomorrow, the pain may return, but I will prevail. Even through my empathic ways.

Sexy Veggies baby!!!

2009-04-08T22:40:00.000-07:00

anticipation

2009-04-07T11:09:00.001-07:00

It's quite amazing how the sight of an email appearing in my inbox can make me smile.
Or the giddy excitement of a text message. Walking around wondering what to text back. All the while a silly grin on my face.
When we do finally toss aside the new technology for good 'ol telephone conversation, the silence is golden. Hehe. Nervous energy and chuckles. Slowly opening up and finding that any connection, be it a phone line, or a computer, is a way of finding home.
Now, about this knock at the door. Could I really stand there and wait? Or would I run and hide behind a tree, too red in the face to actually say hi.
The feeling of seeing your face and hearing your voice right in front of me.
Realizing you are indeed real, and there waiting for me.

the future holds

2009-04-06T22:11:00.001-07:00

gullible. Raw emotion. You let people in. You feel safe. Open more and more. Only to find they close the door. Leave you in the cold. Wanting all the words and explanations to rain down on you. Soak you until you comprehend the reasoning behind the irrational behavior you feel done to you.

Old lady with cats. Except I am not too fond of cats. Other peoples cats, yes. For me, not so much. My future. The crazy old single lady with a hundred cats. If I start now, could I have enough? Wait. Stuffed animal cats. That's it. The crazy 'ol lady with her hundred stuffed animal cats. Not self-pity, just truth. Empathetic. Emotional. Sole provider. Stability. Needs. One day.

I need to remember this

2009-04-05T20:09:00.000-07:00

Which one could it be?? The new adjective in my life

2009-04-02T13:21:00.000-07:00

Akward

/ˈɔkwərd/ [awk-werd]
–adjective
1.
lacking skill or dexterity; clumsy.
2.
lacking grace or ease in movement: an awkward gesture; an awkward dancer.
3.
lacking social graces or manners: a simple, awkward frontiersman.
4.
not well planned or designed for easy or effective use: an awkward instrument; an awkward method.
5.
requiring caution; somewhat hazardous; dangerous: an awkward turn in the road.
6.
hard to deal with; difficult; requiring skill, tact, or the like: an awkward situation; an awkward customer.
7.
embarrassing or inconvenient; caused by lack of social grace: an awkward moment
8.
Obsolete. untoward; perverse.

what do we see?

2009-03-30T21:39:00.000-07:00

Every once in awhile we look at ourselves. Naked. fresh skin. No make-up. What is there that we hope to see? Our true selves revealed for us? Answers to our emotions that play us like fools? Search and search. Only to realize the rain falls and the birds sing.

kids get it sometimes

2009-03-29T18:20:00.000-07:00

Today my son has a fever. He is on the couch. Not following me up the stairs. Not laughing. We are waiting out this nasty virus on a sunny spring day.

So, we are watching some television. This ad comes on about the Vulcan automatic rifle. Wait. It's Nerf. WTF? So I comment, "why would anyone make that?" My son, not missing a beat, in his fever voice replies, "maybe the army made them so kids will want to be in the army. They are trying to brainwash them."

Dreams

2009-03-27T09:17:00.000-07:00

It is the immensity, I believe. The hugeness of things below. The darkness of dreams~Gaiman
Dreams are free, so free your dreams. ~Astrid Alauda

Dreams are illustrations... from the book your soul is writing about you. ~Marsha Norman

when giggling happens

2009-03-25T10:04:00.000-07:00

It simply cannot cease. The silly feeling I get in the realm of me belly. The light head, the tingling. Even before I heard your voice, I was hooked, like a deep sea being living in darkness for millions of years. Slowly I am being lifted to this time. This millennium. Trembling in anticipation of that first breath of sea air.

(impulsive. Written under a minute).

Joyous Eostar!!

2009-03-20T07:50:00.000-07:00

The earth is reborn! Let the sun shine and the seeds grow! Blessed be the earth and the goddess! For today the days grow longer and our hearts sing!!

2009-03-18T20:53:00.000-07:00

World Autism Awareness Day April 2, 2009

2009-03-13T11:53:00.000-07:00

Click here->Walk for Autism!

Click here
Come and look at this site

The room under the stairs

2009-03-11T21:38:00.001-07:00

Sooo proud! I just love him. He made it all by himself. I dig the "planets.

The "another picture" face :)

Reading is cool

His set-up.

A little whine

2009-03-10T11:54:00.001-07:00

sighhhhhh.

(La Vie Est Injuste)

I am all of you

2009-03-07T12:39:00.000-08:00

I am part of the wind. It hits me and I see. I drive down the country road. My friends are there, the hawk on the line, the heron perched on the beavers dam, the alpacas, shorn and alert, the sheep, the crows, galloping horses, sleeping horses. The chickens movin around the yards. The cows. The black cows and their shiny babies. On the freeway on-ramp suckling from their mothers, laying in the grass, chasing a bird. Thinking of my shiny, slippery baby. Looking at me as he fed from his mother. The love, the connection, the feral cry that sent my body to new highs. The bond, the need, the wariness, the desire. I am all of you.

Stomach flu stay away!!

2009-03-05T13:08:00.000-08:00

Evil little bugs!!!!

Not again! No! I will not allow it! I cannot get the flu again. This would be the third time. I am doing EVERYTHING in my power to keep heathy. I am telling my body it cannot get sick

No flu!!!!

REM?

2009-03-01T13:08:00.001-08:00

last night so many dreams, well a couple nightmares. I was soo incredibly groggy. Woke up a couple times. Dog, bathroom. Its so unnerving to walk into walls and such when you have been asleep for so many hours. One esp Gothic one with dogs still alive, but with missing organs and flesh.

Today in 1692

2009-02-28T11:16:00.000-08:00

Click here:

Wichcraft Hysteria

“Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil,

as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour.” 1 Peter 5:8

It is also notable to remember the witches trials in Europe, particularly England. Many widows and midwifes were targeted for their land, and their knowledge and standing in the community. They were the healers and spiritual guidance for the villages. The widows lost their land, the midwives lost their right to practice. This was due to new policies requiring schooling for childbirth. At this time, women were not allowed to enter medical training schools. Of course, midwives continued under secret, but they were weeded out during this time.

Witches, in any land, are the seekers and healers. They are knowledgeable in the natural world and how to use this knowledge to heal and bring balance. The stereotype of today is one from the christian church to try and discredit traditional medicine and women as powerful healers.

Rudolfo Anaya's Bless Me, Ultima is a coming of age story, but also brings forth Ultima, who is a curandera.

I am also interested in the book

The women they suffer, they love, they give life.

They are wondrous creatures who's amazing ability to enchant causes distress and hysteria.

Winter Ice Wonderland

2009-02-26T16:51:00.000-08:00

02-20-2009 17:00

Cold Harbin Becomes Hot Holiday Destination

The ice sculptures are seen during the Ice and Snow Festival in Harbin, the capital city of China's northernmost province Heilongjiang.

Korea Times

By Sunny LeeKorea times CorrespondentHARBIN ―

``It seems that I am the only Korean around here who hasn't visited Harbin this winter," said Lee Young-sup, a South Korean journalist in Beijing who works for Hankook Ilbo.When Harbin, a northern Chinese city just south of the border with Russia, freezes during its cold winter, it transforms into the hottest holiday destination in China.

The winter temperature here commonly plummets to minus-30 degrees Celsius. "Even your eyeballs feel pinched because the tears in your eye sockets almost freeze," said Kim Seok-han, a businessman in China's eastern port city of Qingdao. "But I've ended up coming here again because my kids love the ice festival. Where else would you see such a magnificent sight?" he asked.

The Harbin Ice Festival is probably what makes its loyal string of holiday travelers, including Kim's family, return here like faithful pilgrims. Located near the Songhua River, the festival is held in a massive open field on which a new town is actually built entirely of ice. Once you enter the gate, which is also made of ice, you find yourself in a whole new wonderland. It's sheer exotic fun. There's a clock tower, a palace, the Great Wall, a bridge, a statue of Buddha and even a giant Harbin Beer. The lanterns inside the "ice bricks" make this "city of ice" glow colorfully in the darkness. But don't worry, the restrooms aren't made of ice.

The fun doesn't end with just looking. People actually get to bobsleigh, snowboard, snow tube, go snow motorcycling and engage in other activities, all included in the cost of a 150 yuan ($22) ticket. Walking out of the icy wonderland and taking a stroll in downtown Harbin, which is also full of an array of icy sculptures, is also fun, as long as you don't mind your buttocks hitting the ground once-in-a-while on the slippery street.

When dusk sets in, you may want to head for pedestrian-only Zhongyang Avenue, which is comparable to Myeongdong, in Seoul. It offers shops and department stores back-to-back and if you miss Korean food, there's Sorabol Korean Restaurant. If you're of a more adventurous spirit and want some local flavor, go to the 100-year-old historic Russian restaurant "Hua Mei Shi Canting." You may have to wait in line for half an hour, but it's worth it.

People here would also recommend a visit to Harbin Tiger Park (Harbin Dongbeihu Linyuan), which has about 700 wild tigers, including rare Mt. Paektu tigers, and skiing. The winter is long here, with ice and snow not melting until mid-March. So if you think you haven't done enough skiing and winter sports this winter, Harbin's the place for you. In fact, the 24th World Winter University Games opened just this Wednesday in Harbin, with a lavish ceremony. China wants to use the Universiade as a testing ground to eventually bid to host the 2018 Winter Olympics, making it a competitor of Korea's PyeongChang.

To Koreans, the Chinese city is also historically well-known for being where prominent Korean independence fighter Ahn Jung-geun, in 1909, assassinated Ito Hirobumi, the first prime minister of Japan, who played a leading role in colonizing Korea.

Currently, there is little trace of Ahn in the city, except for a triangle mark on the assassination site, which is located at the number 1 platform of the Harbin Train Station.

Ahn was executed in the northeastern Chinese city of Dalian in 1910. South Korea last year asked China to halt construction on a site where Ahn's remains are believed to be buried.

Getting to Harbin is easy, with flights directly linking it with Incheon.boston.sunny@yahoo.com

Fair trade rocks!!!

2009-02-26T16:39:00.000-08:00

Handmade paper
Fresh-cut flowers

The chocolate is also divine

Rain Rain Rain. Getting ready for Ostara.

2009-02-24T13:53:00.000-08:00

The rain is here again. It has been dry and sunny.
Spring is just emerging. The rain will bring needed
help for our mother to shower us with her color and radiance.
I am already making strategies in my head.
Serrano peppers here, green beans over there
hmmm, cucumbers and lettuce.
Tomatoes and onions. I dig making salsa!!! Yum!

Then, the joy of picking wild berries! Making jam!
Chasing the starlings from the bush and getting the good ones.
The wild flowers that will cover the meadows.
The green has begun. The deer are roaming the yard.
The red-breasted robins are coming back in full force.
The ravens and crows forced to share the nourishment of the ground.

The rain does fall, causing my mind to
wonder and delight in the earth's
magnificent rhythm.

thoughts of you

2009-02-22T23:40:00.001-08:00

If I could
you would catch me
kissing your left cheek
right cheek
crawling on your lap
head in your neck
smelling you
feeling your pulse
listening to your voice
lull me into space

Would you like this gingerbread cookie G???

2009-02-22T16:40:00.000-08:00

Yes! I want it!!!

"He poo'd out his head."

Chaos and Love

These things I know

Zombies and mermaids....oh my!!!!!!!!

Merry Winter!

meloncholy

No computer=????

The Heart Rate Increases

Pale Shelter

Our assembly today-Columbine survivor speaking about a friend teaching Kindness

Sometimes the love is too infinite for words.

The Hunted. The Prey. THe lost. Remember.......

muddy boots-blood splatter

Fantasy?

TRUST

I am a fucking gullible MORON!

Wonder Love

Right Where it Belongs

Books rock my world

Feeling restless

For a Friday Laugh :P

Well Fuckity fuck fuck ;)

I Felt Like Things Would Be Alright

one pic to make you smile

Raspberry Pickin With My Son, and Niece & Nephew from Cali

The Outside Theatre

ya, thats him

I am trying

Showed him and I told him how he struck me but I'm Fucked up now.........

Heartbreak is a bitch

me myself and I

Needs

boom boom

why not?Me?

Farmer's Market Part 2!! Woof.

Man in the Parking Lot

Haircut Maintence

The Saturday Market Part 1-The food!!

My heart grows

breath catches

I dig this

Cosmic dance

Summer Solstice

Depression is a #^$*#*#*

SCHOOOLS OUT FOR SUMMER!

Apathy is Dead in Iran

Hollow Bones

mantra

Hard lesson to learn..............or is it?

Primal

handle life

Mother do you think they'll drop the bomb

My needle-felting

no more nice girls

His Jihad airing nightly

Remembrance

A Poem For A Student Lost

What happens when you forget how to communicate?

Airport dreams

Fuck the Norovirus

Soulmate or let's lose control

Help I'm Alive

Trees I adore

Bright, Bright, sun Shiny Day!

Taunts

Vitimamin D Deficiency

Breastfeeding and The Swine (H1N1) Flu! YES!!!

Inspiration needed!!!

Spring!!

gotta have a laugh

A coloring page for Beltane

Prosecuting War Crimes-Nick Mottern peace.org

In Love

Friday music-little mellow, little dancin

My Friend Maggie is Gloriously Pegnant

Neurological Differences

The mix tape

pain eases

Sexy Veggies baby!!!

anticipation

the future holds

Depression is a #^$##*